My Life Journey Through the Lens of Money
While upgrading the website, I read some olds posts about my journey with money as a key antagonist in my life. I decided to edit the post a bit and reshare it with some thoughts as it relates today.
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I grew up hearing there is a path to success: finish school, go to college, get a job (a career, perhaps), buy a car, get promotions, buy a house, get married, raise a family, and save for retirement to enjoy the later years.
I didn’t question this path. I took it to heart. It’s the American dream right?
So, I worked harder than most. I made money. I hustled. I got paid a bit more. But I also spent more of what I made and definitely bought more than I could afford.
The harsh reality: I’ve accepted that a lot of the stuff I bought with the money I made is probably decomposing in a landfill somewhere.
I know now my spending was fueled by my disatisfaction. I was unhappy. I felt disconnected. I wanted to do something else with my life, but I felt trapped. And with every larger purchase and financing I signed, the path became more of a queing line with metal railings.
The further I walked the harder it would be to get off, not impossible, but definitely more challenging. The thing is almost everyone is in the queue, so it’s hard to see what’s in front of me. We’re all just kinda moving along.
Is it possible if I stayed on this path things would be fine? It’s possible.
However, I chose to get off the line. It wasn’t easy but I was able to do this because of my financial situation. But, my finances wasn’t always healthy. In fact, I was quite a financial mess.
My starting point: I didn’t learn about money at home or in school
No one around me talked about finances. It was a taboo subject. My parents avoided the conversation and I recall a teacher saying money isn’t a subject to be discussed in the classroom (let’s get back measuring the circumferance of a circle, okay?).
People may not be openly discussing finances, but we’re all having money conversation with the clothes we wear, the cars we drive, the vacations we share, and the houses we live in.
I was having daily financial lessons on what wealth “appears” to be and about the cycle of exchanging time for a paycheck, along with money = stuff, not freedom.
Just no one every mentioned that money isn’t the end goal, but a tool, and the better you manage that tool, the more opportunities to choose a different path.
I grew up in Elizabeth, NJ in a modest household.
My parents worked hard and made sure I had the basic necessities, but we never talked about money openly. It only came up when we couldn’t afford the music instrument I wanted to play, the class trip I wanted to go on, or the clothes that I thought would make me look cool.
However, our first real money conversation happened my senior year in high school, we didn’t have enough to pay for college. Back then, I thought I was doing it all right: got good grades, was class president, involved in clubs, played a sport, and did community services.
My life on this “path” was already not going as planned.
I still remember that short money conversation and how it impacted me my entire senior year. How do I tell others my parents made enough to just get buy but not enough to send me to school? So, I hid my financial reality from friends.
As my friends left for college, I found myself working at Newark Airport. I cleaned toilets, served drinks, and provided service to first class and business passengers in the first class lounges. I was finally making my own money.
But the lack of financial knowledge led to many bad decisions. I spent what I made and because I had a job, I got credit cards. I used them, overspent, and carried balances from month to month. I needed to work more just to keep up with the monthly payments. Things snowballed.
Through all this, I did manage to pay for college through a combination of my income and student loans. But I would end up gradutating college with a massive amount of debt.
The lack of financial knowledge were limiting my choices.
Knowing this I changed my major from becoming a fimmaker to finance. I chose a career in banking instead of the arts to follow the money.
Things were going okay for the most part. Following the path with my determination, I climbed the corporate ladder. I made significant gains in salary. I achieved major financial goals: a six-figure salary, lived in Silicon Valley, drove a luxury german car, traveled often, ate fancy food, and wore brand name clothes.
Through all this though, I had a car loan, student loans, and amassed a significant amount of credit card debt. Instead of making the right decisions to save money and use my income to pay off debt, I found myself living paycheck-to-paycheck.
I was living the debt-strapped American dream.
Mindlessly consuming and obsessively complaining
It was hard to admit that I had a spending problem and a heavy reliance on credit. I gave every reason why I couldn’t save and found any reason to spend.
Fortunately, my role in the credit union exposed me to financial experts and everyday people managing their money well and living life on their terms. I learned new skills through their stories and began using the right products and services.
I, eventually, recognized my scarcity based money mindset – a set of money beliefs impacting financial behaviors – that prevented me from gaining financial independence sooner.
Financial knowledge shifted my mindset and positivley impacted my financial habits. I was saving money and investing some of it for retirement. I was also planning on buying a home. You know, continue moving on that queue.
But I knew I wanted something more. Something different. My financial health allowed me to make a different choice. So, when my company offered a successor CEO route, I was able to say no (it wasn’t easy) and resigned from my executive job instead. Choosing differently, I sold everything I owned and backpacked around the world, exploring over 20 countires in a litter over a year.
While in Bagan, Myanmar, I was sitting on an 8th century temple staring at thousands of pagodas, stupas, and temples on the horizon. I felt free. I was aligned. It was in that moment I had an “aha” moment. It was an ephiphany.
I was living my dreams. I asked myself, how did I get here? Where was everyone else?
Aligning my passions and serving a purpose
I wasn’t rich by an stretch of the imagination, but I knew enough about money and made better decisions that allowed me to change my life.
After months of backpacking, thought-provoking conversations, and eye-opening experiences, I realized how financial knowledge changed my life. And how access to that knowledge can change other people’s too.
Financial knowledge empowered me to make better decisions, choose the right financial products, seek help from experts, and become involved in my finances to achieve my life goals. It made me comfortable enough to discuss money with confidence and doing so allowed me to ask question and find answers.
After my adult gap year, I came home inspired to empower a generation to achieve their dreams through a better way of accessing financial information, resources, and tools.
In 2013, I started a blog and grew a community that supported a successful crowdfunding campaign raising $78,501. Years later, I began the Road to Financial Wellness roadtrips breaking the taboo about money and encouraging others to live more experiential and purposeful lives. This can be done through sound financial decision-making.
Today, I find myself with more opportunities and get to define what success means to me.
I look at the life I have gotten to live. I’ve been to all 50 states. I’ve visited 41 countries. I’ve cruised across the Atlantic. I walked on the Great Pyramid. I hugged a sloth in Belize and admired wild camels in Oman. I’ve been traditionally published three times. I’ve been on TV. I’m a highly paid speaker (no one told me speakers get paid well). I’ve produced documentaries. And I have met so many amazing people.
I am also grateful I get to awaken others and help them get off the “path” and go on their personal journey.
