Passion or Poison

I’ve felt really stressed the past few days.  I am not sure if its just dealing with overseas programmers again or just my over zealous nature.

I can call it passion but it definitely can be poison.

I laid in bed asking myself why am I doing what I am doing.  I guess this question keeps coming up because there is so much work involved in this endeavor.  Then all of a sudden, AT&T ISP blocked my IP address so I couldn’t work on the site at all or talk with the programmers regarding any enhancements.

Instead, I watched the movie, “Life of Pi,” and I’ll talk about that on another post but it got me thinking once again.  Does my brain every stop? The answer is “no.”

I got up and stared at myself at the mirror and asked myself, “Jason, you could be out on a beach enjoying yourself. Why create this much demand on yourself?”

Reminds me of something my 7th grade teacher in Hamilton once told our class, “There are only two types of people in this world who talk to themselves.  Those who are crazy and those who are rich.”  The crazy part I get and I can be described as being very intense.  The rich part I can see if one has so much $$$ but not enough <3.

I knew the answer to that…I really do believe in Phroogal and what I am trying to do. I think that’s what keeps me going.  I am so far from where I feel I should be at this point and that’s the cause of my stress.  I want it and want it now and no one really there to tell me to take a step back.

But, it boils down to the fact that I am doing this because I know I can.  I just really didn’t know how bootstrapping an idea took so much out of you.  It took me more time to get a landing page up and running because I was looking for validation from people.  So I kept searching or using that to

I’ve written down things I need to do and began prioritizing.  I have to keep looking at the big picture (which I always do) but keep in mind the daily tasks I need to complete in order to move forward with this project.

Last night, I realized I need to take a break and more breaks than what I was doing. Prioritize my life around living not a project thats preventing me to smell the roses and breath.